How It Stops: Some Thoughts on “Westboro Baptist Church”

/ Elizabeth Gaucher / 5 Comments

“Westboro Baptist Church” is the name of a disturbed cult of a few dozen people.  They are not a church, they are not Baptist, and they are most likely severely mentally ill.

If you don’t know about this group, congratulations.  If you would like to learn about them in some detail, you might start with this link in the Huffington Post and then do some Google searching on your own.  I prefer not to link directly to any of the group’s websites.

I have seen this group do its thing in celebration of the deaths of West Virginia coal miners.  What got my attention above anything else seeing it “live” was the presence of children.  Weeping children are dragged along, forced to carry signs that say “God hates (fill in the blank).”  Because the children are with the WBC adult picketers, any negative energy that comes from opposition to the protest on the street lands like another crushing boulder on these young souls.

Keep in mind that WBC does what it does very well, and by design.  It is an emotional terrorist organization that preys on grieving communities and attempts to spark rage and backlash so as to further fragment fragile situations. 

Fragmentation increases the likelihood that people will turn on one another over the slightest differences or misunderstandings.  The first thing to do is have a moment of outrage in private with people you trust.  Get it out of your system if you must, but it is crucial to move on to a firm conviction that these people have no power, no authority, and no voice of significance about God, your loved ones, or your community.  They are themselves desperately in need of positive energy and even prayer for their well-being.

The children in the midst of the chaos need the most help.  However tempting, don’t engage WBC in anger.  The only way this ends, be it WBC or any band of disturbed hate-mongers, is to respond in peace and love.

Fake it if you must, but get it done in front of these kids.  That is how it stops.

Image credit: Pablo Picasso

The Victory of Every Woman

/ Elizabeth Gaucher / 5 Comments

The day before she died, Elizabeth Edwards wrote this on her Facebook page:

The days of our lives, for all of us, are numbered. We know that. And, yes, there are certainly times when we aren’t able to muster as much strength and patience as we would like. It’s called being human.

Elizabeth had a powerful influence on many people, but especially on married women who are mothers managing professional careers.  She achieved everything we want, and suffered everything we fear.

Elizabeth Anania with John Edwards at UNC-CH Law

Married for decades to her law school sweetheart, she became an attorney, supported her husband’s ambitions, and delivered a healthy son and daughter.  She had friends, family, wealth, and talent.  I was living in the Raleigh area in 1996 when her son Wade was killed in a car accident.  It was the beginning of the genuine revelation for many young people in a thriving part of the world that even the perfect and powerful and insulated are not immune from pain and loss.

Elizabeth went on to have another daughter and another son.  She was diagnosed with breast cancer in her early 50’s during her husband’s bid for the U. S. vice-presidency on the Democratic ticket with John Kerry.  No one but the people in a married relationship ever truly knows why it ends, and perhaps not even those; but in extreme shorthand, Elizabeth separated from her husband after his involvement with another woman.  Elizabeth gained a passionate admiration from many women when she terminated her living arrangement with her husband but refused to divorce him for the sake of their children.  She publicly proclaimed how angry she was, and how confused.  Rather than stand at his side, eyes downcast, she said out loud that she was no longer sure who she was to the man she married.  Women cheered, even as they shared her heartbreak, again.

Her husband John was at her side when she died yesterday.

Elizabeth Edwards did not face adversities unknown to many people.  Marriages end, children die, and serious illnesses strike individuals every day.  It was her dramatic reversal of fortune in such a short time span that shocked us.  It was also her incredible grace and strength in managing more degrees of loss and pain in barely over a decade than many of us will face in a lifetime.

Some people have launched their comments on her life with, “I didn’t agree with her politics, but……….”  I believe that line of thinking misses the point.  Are we so far apart as human beings that political opinions lead our thoughts on such a figure of devotion and commitment?  I hope not.

She was not a saint.  She was a human being.  She was every woman in her hopes and dreams.  She was every woman in her grief.  And Elizabeth Anania Edwards will remain an exceptional woman in her example of the personal victory of the heart over the challenges of a fully human life.