Create WV and The Water –

Watch my friends and Create WV founding members Sarah Halstead and Rebecca Kimmons, explain three key points about the water crisis:

1) Why we haven’t been protecting our water;

2) Why there isn’t more outcry over the water crisis;

3) How WV can overcome these troubles and be all those of us who love it know it can be!

Please consider helping me meet my goal of raising $500 in support of Create WV and Aurora Lights. It’s so simple to donate and even $5 makes a world of difference! You can donate as much or little as you want. Check it out: http://fundly.com/8ijmdsyq

The fundraising event will be June 7, 2014, in Charleston. Find out more on http://wvwildwonderfulwaterrun.com.

McHotties, Bad Guys, and You

McDonald’s fast food restaurants are known for a lot of things.  What they are recognized and rewarded for above all others is the perfection of churning out predictable products that do not vary in any manner from one location to another.  Their fries in Chicago taste exactly like their fries in Bangkok.  They also contribute to obesity and high blood pressure at the same rate in either place.  

You know who in the slammer.

 People are, sadly, becoming more and more like products to be replicated and reliably sold to a public that just wants a fix and has zero concern for the effect of consuming too much of one thing.  Celebs have always been a certain way, and Hollywood culture – of course – relies on our love of beautiful train wrecks to keep the money-maker shakin’.  It does seem, however, that the chalk outlines of these wrecks are starting to look more and more like each other.  Our national diet of celebrity obsession is unlikely to change radically, but we are slouching towards an entirely undiversified diet of cookie-cutter yuck that seems especially unhealthy.  

If you’re female, it’s most helpful if you would please be under 25 years old, strung out on alcohol and drugs, and have a revolving bedroom door.  Plastic surgery or its rumor is also required, and public fights are helpful.  The male version of our pablum diet has only one necessary component.  Masquerade for a period of time as a nice person, and then rip off the disguise and laugh in our faces as you reveal the extensive list of women you have managed to juggle behind your family’s back for an uncomfortably long time.  If juggling isn’t a skill, just assault a woman you meet in a bar or hotel and call it a date. 

This is a fairly homogeneous diet of garbage.  It is also, like the french fries, apparently all but irresistible and the more we consume the more we want.  You want it, you got it say the handlers.  I need a Riviera vacation anyway.  

Let’s be clear, shall we?  None of this is an accident any more.  None of it.  As a culture we are a driving force on the demand side for an undiversified personality pathology crisis.  We really need to start eating something else, or we may all be the next — significantly less beautiful — train wrecks. 

I’m suddenly craving a raw vegetable.

Mr. Short-Term Memory

Tom Hanks created Mr. Short-Term Memory on Saturday Night Live probably 20 years ago.  The “Blind Date” episode is a classic — it’s over 5 minutes long so if you don’t have that kind of time, just fast foward to the last 90 seconds…..trust me.

Mr. Short-Term Memory spits out his poached salmon into a napkin in horror, claiming to the waiter that someone has put “already chewed food in my mouth!”  It cracked me up 2 decades ago, and today it’s still funny, but not in the same way.  The first time I saw it I thought it was obviously an over-the-top joke.  Today, it just seems like a thinly veiled reference to how dumb we are when it comes to recognizing the obvious.

This country is getting sicker and heavier and more depressed.  West Virginia is leading the pack, but apparently we can’t agree on why or what to do.  How about this?  We feed our kids toxic garbage.  Those kids grow up, they keep eating that way, and they teach their kids to eat that way.  Currently the Kanawha County Schools can’t conclude that “flavored milk” is a bad option for kids.  A packet of ketchup is passing for a serving of vegetables.  And the “super donut” is being served for breakfast in my daughter’s child care center.

It is right in front of our eyes, and we think someone else is chewing up this food and putting it in our mouths.  Ad men who hock trash to eat are lauded as creative geniuses, as if what they are peddling and to whom doesn’t matter.  We wring our hands about how hard it is to “eat right.”

Since someone else is chewing it up and putting it our mouths, I guess we don’t have much choice.