Embracing Vulnerability and An Ordinary Life

I came across this article today and thought about the Essays on Childhood project.  Dr. Carter writes about the work of “vulnerability researcher” Brene Brown, and her ideas about what activities, priorities, and decisions lead to happiness in a person’s life.

What a thought….might glitter pens and occasional horseback rides trump varsity sports and being valedictorian?  In an age when just getting into the right high school is a source of nail-biting anxiety for families, it is valuable to step back and look at what we are really trying to teach our children how to do when we are no longer here to help them.

Brown says, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of joy, love, belonging, creativity, and faith.”

Last time I checked, they weren’t teaching those things in any high school, public or private.  Enjoy this thoughtful piece from Dr. Carter, but I strongly encourage you to make it a prelude to the 15 minute TED video of Brown talking about an important and compelling issue, and that is her thesis that we are losing our tolerance for vulnerability.  Losing that tolerance is leading to a mindset where joy becomes foreboding and to a host of other very serious problems.  This has everything to do with how we raise our children and what we teach them about happiness and how to find it; consequently, it also has everything to do with the kind of world we are developing around us.

I often feel there is never enough time in my day to watch TED.  If you read this blog, I believe you will be glad you gave this particular talk 15 minutes.  It is exceptional.

Somehow, an ordinary life has become synonymous with a meaningless life.  Let’s put that in reverse and hit the gas!

Christine Carter, PhD: Embracing an Ordinary Childhood for Your Kids.

Image credit: Flowing Data

Writing About “Place” – The Power of Geography and Metaphor

For those of you considering writing an essay for this year’s Essays on Childhood: A Sense of Place, I wanted to share an excellent example of how only a few words in a literal place description can have a powerful double impact as both metaphorical and literal reality.

Silas House is the author of the novel Eli the Good and a co-author of Something’s Rising: Appalachians Fighting Mountaintop Removal.  He is, as they say in elite circles, the schizzle.  Consider what the man does in these few words from this February 19, 2011, piece in the New York Times,  My Polluted Kentucky Home – NYTimes.com:

Graves, 25314

As a child I once stood on a cedar-pocked ridge with my father, looking down on a strip mine near the place that had been our family cemetery. My great-aunt’s grave had been “accidentally” buried under about 50 feet of unwanted topsoil and low-grade coal; “overburden,” the industry calls it. My father took a long, deep breath. I feel that I’ve been holding it ever since.

In the NYT piece, House is writing about the toll that coal mining takes on not only the land, but the people who are so intricately and intimately a part of that land.  We don’t know anything about his great-aunt, his father, or even exactly what he is seeing.  But the layers of pain are palpable in the image of a family grave literally buried in waste from an industry that dismisses such action as collateral damage.

In this image, and these few words, we understand quickly that his great-aunt, this woman who was a member of his family, is being lost a second time to her loved ones.  The cost of this grief is a ripple effect of a tightened chest in the next generation below her, and now in the author as the third generation.  All are suffocating and suffering from the legacy of certain mining practices on sacred family ground.

As you consider your essay, think about things you have seen in the landscape, house, fairground, school, play yard, or other place that had a strong influence on your childhood.  Do you have a particular scene or memory of a physical reality that might serve to inspire your writing about your childhood?  How do the emotions that rise when you “see” this place serve to generate adjectives, verbs, and nouns that may flow from your pencil and eventually  become an outline of your story?

Image credit:  Elizabeth Gaucher, small grave sites at the corner of Bridge and Loudon Heights Roads in Charleston, West Virginia.